God Gives the Growth

I used to find my identity in results. If things worked, I was good. If things did not work, I was bad. 

It’s not fully accurate to use past tense, though. 

Maybe it’s better to say that I used to unknowingly find my identity in results. Now, at least, I’m aware, and I’m growing away from it. But it’s not exactly in my past yet. 

I am learning, instead, to find my identity in my obedience to Jesus. 

I am accepting that I am responsible to obey, and God is responsible for what happens next. 

God gives the growth, not me. 

It’s easy to see in plants. 

We water, we weed. We help the environment and set the plants up for success. But we cannot make the changes, the growth, happen. I cannot make my ivy grow faster or slower. 

I cannot cause my own spiritual growth. 

I can partner with the Holy Spirit, obeying when He tugs on my heart (apologize, slow down, reach out), and know that is the extent of my responsibility. What happens next isn’t up to me. 

It’s hard to let go of results (at least for a people-pleasing, productivity-loving person like me, who is learning to STOP letting my identity be about my accomplishments and capability). 

In the end, it’s so freeing that I get to obey, and that’s it. 

If I obey, and don’t get the results I hoped for, that’s okay. I’m only responsible to obey. If I obey and do get the results I hoped for, it wasn’t me. 

It is God who gives the growth. 

(1 Corinthians 3:5-9, Mark 4:26-29)