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Lonliness Vs. Friendship

The one comment that gets me feeling more 'present' with my friends and family!

Nicole Hanson

4/18/20241 min read

I’m amazed at how much mindset impacts friendship.

The things we tell ourselves and the things we believe make a surprising difference in how connected to others we feel.

Of course, I’ve heard all the professionals harping on mindset for a while. What surprised me, if I’m being honest, is how dramatically I recognized it in myself... How much of a difference it made for me, just this spring.

I’ll tell you the whole story so you can try it for yourself, too.

It started with a book, as most of my experiments on myself do. The book in question? “The Six Conversations” by Heather Holleman.

Before getting into the conversations and ideas for questions to ask, she talked a lot about mindset.

Holleman talked about how the beliefs and goals we bring with us impact both the conversation and how connected we feel.

If you want to become a better conversationalist and have more meaningful conversations, I recommend the book. I appreciated the analytical side, though if you think a “system” for conversations ruins the whole thing, maybe don’t read it-- and at our next conversation, forget that I did ;)

She suggested one comment at the beginning of a conversation. And if you can say it honestly, I recommend you try it!

I used this comment twice the day I read it, once on the phone and once in person. Both times, I meant it. And saying it to my friends made it mean even more, by bringing the truth to the surface.

Instead of letting the thought sit in a dusty corner of my mind, I brought it out, cleaned it off, and let myself sink into how true it was, just by looking at my friend in the eyes and saying this, in all sincerity:

“I am so happy to be talking with you! I love connecting with you.”